Operatic wisdom
Do aliens count?


"The separation of the individual, as he grows up, from the authority of his parents is one of the most necessary achievements of his development, yet at the same time one of the most painful. It is absolutely necessary for it to take place, and we may presume that it has been achieved in some measure by everyone who has developed into a normal person."


Sigmund Freud, Family Romances


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Agreed, but don't you think that you internalize your parents' authority to a great extent, and so their vision and values become yours or kind of hover over you like an internal parent? Is it always necessary to shake this off to become one's own person, or is it ok to accept what perhaps amounts to the wisdom of ages?


Well we probably shouldn't take everything Freud said as 'absolute truth' ;-). Interestingly, the 'pain' he refers to is a longing to go back to the days when the child considered his parents to be the wisest, most wonderful people in the world. So how lovely for those people who are able to continue seeing their parents as wise and wonderful...
At the same time, becoming grown up requires a re-relating to one's parents adult-to-adult... I think. Do you agree?
And then hopefully one learns to see one's parents as they are, as fully rounded human beings, with their hopes, values, triumphs and failures.

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